I wonder what you had in mind clicking on the link to this article. 

Well, here it comes. The magic way to set rules is to embody them.

Are you disappointed? Did you think there was a way you can “enforce” rules upon your child that calls for no change from you and full “obedience” from your child?

Don’t be disgruntled however, I do feel that the concept I am here to illustrate is far more beautiful, empowering, and connecting.

When we embody ways of being, they become our way of life. They become our family culture, traditions, values, and simply how we carry out ourselves.

There is a basic notion here, we can only control ourselves, and our environment. 

Take for example our eating habits. Our eating habits include the types of food we eat, where we eat, when we eat, and how we eat. Common complaints regarding eating habits are “my child only eats certain foods and is always asking for candy or chocolate” or “my child won’t sit at the table to eat”.

Let’s take a moment to reflect here on ourselves and our environment, the only aspects we really have any control over.

Questions to reflect on ourselves:

– What are my eating habits?

– What kind of foods do I eat?

– Where and how do I eat my meals?

Questions to reflect on our environment:

– What kinds of food are found in our home?

– Are meals organized for the family to eat together?

– Are meals served at the dining table?

Please take a moment to reflect on your answers to these questions. What you eat, when you eat, where you eat and how you eat, are all guideposts of how you live.

If as a family, meals are eaten on the go or infront of a screen, the children will become accustomed to the same. If the kitchen hosts fast food and junk food, the children will crave the same.

Keeping the same basic notion mentioned before, we can reflect on ourselves and our environment and determine what we as a family need to thrive.

We can take the same rational we used for eating habits to exercise or movement. This includes whether we move our body, our attitude towards exercise, and our movement habits such as how often, when and where we move our bodies.

A common complaint on this topic is “my child isn’t interested in sports or playing outdoors and only wants to sit infront of a screen”

Once again, like we did before, let’s examine ourselves and our environment. 

Questions to reflect on ourselves:

– Is exercise part of my daily routine?

– How much time do I spend infront of a screen versus engaging in active experiences?

– Do I walk when given the chance or do I always use the car?

Questions to reflect on our environment:

– What is the theme of the family activities on the weekends and holidays?

– What toys, gadgets and tools are at the child’s disposal?

– How much time is spent outdoors?

Once again, please take a moment to reflect on these answers. How and when we move, our attitude towards exercise, and the choice of recreational activities are all guideposts of how we live.

Understandably, each individual has their own temperament and is prone to their own preferences. Having said that, what a person is exposed to can greatly influence their choices. 

This line of thought can be taken to reading, house chores, or any other activity.

A child who grows to see their parents read books, is more likely to pick up a book themselves.

A child who sees their parents doing house chores and helping around, is more likely to give a helping hand around the house themselves.

When you face resistance from your child, take this opportunity as an invitation to reflect on yourself and your environment. 

The magic way to set rules is to embody them. We can only control ourselves, and our environment. 

Are you interested in giving these two ideas a try? I would love to hear from you in the comments.